Breaking up isnít just an action that you take when youíre fed up with your current beau. As outlined in the Magic of Making Up, breaking up is an art. There are quite a few doís and doníts on the road to break-up. Letís face it; no one enjoys a breakup (and anyone who does enjoy it needs to seek out professional help). Here are just a few tips on how to smooth over a parting of ways or, to put it bluntly, how to break-up correctly.
To start, you need to decide if you really want to break up with this person. If you just need some space to sort things out, then you need to tell your girl/boyfriend. If instead, you go the whole nine yards and break it off, you may find a few weeks down the road that you want her/him back and that is a whole other ball of wax that I am not about to get into. So, once you are POSITIVE that you donít want her/him romantically in your life any more, you can move on to the actual breaking up segment.
Now, you need to tell your partner in person. Whatever you do, do not try to break up your relationship over text, e-mail, or even the phone. Not only is that cheesy and cowardly but itís also downright rude. You should tell him or her that you need to meet and talk. Donít take him out in public. He will be embarrassed enough as it is without having people watching in a full restaurant. Make him some lunch at your place. Honestly, youíre breaking some pretty bad news to him and the least you can do is make him a sandwich.
Next, you should ask him how he is. This is important. If youíre too harsh and upfront, he will think youíre being callus. When you think itís time, tell him that the relationship isnít working out for you. Make sure you mention that you have thought about it a lot.
Let him or her cry or get angry or whatever he/she does. The hardest part is going to be when he/she asks you why. What did she do? Why isnít she good enough? You need to have come prepared. Donít feed her with any trite lines. You need to be honest with her. You need to know exactly why you are breaking up with her and you need to tell her just that. No half truths. Being honest is the best way to make your intentions clear. If you arenít adamant, your partner might try to get back with you and thatís not what you want.
Be prepared for the return fire. Your partner will be angry and will cut you down; accept that. You arenít perfect either, so he or she will probably get pretty harsh. Just allow her to say her piece and then tell her goodbye. Donít kick her out of your house. Just tell her that you are sorry and then say goodbye. The finality of this may not register with her right away, but it will eventually and that is what you want; finality.